by Kate Dernocouer, guest blogger

“The last person who called it a skirt got kilt.”

If you’re a Scotch drinker, what could be better than 10 days in Scotland? Upon arrival in Glasgow in September 2022, a couple of free days on my own led me to a tour and chocolate/whisky tasting at The Clydeside Distillery. What better way to jumpstart my trip, and add to my scant but enthusiastic knowledge about the deliciousness of Scotch whisky (no e!).

As with so many areas of interest , it is possible to spend a lifetime mastering all there is to know about one thing. However, there’s no need to be expert to appreciate the appeal of a sip of Scotch whisky. Drink it “neat” (no ice), just wetting the lips with a hint of it, and savor the spread of flavor as it makes its way down the hatch. Oh, yes!

Scotch whisky comes in a wide range of flavors, and my tour helped me understand why. Scotland’s whisky distilling sorts into five basic regions: Campeltown, Highland, Islay, Lowland, and Speyside. Because it is terrifically amusing to me to imagine being paid to write the ad copy for liquor (and I could not do it justice at my novice level), I quote my source here:

“Speyside: The most densely populated Whisky region in the world, famous for fertile glens and, of course, the River Spey, Speyside whiskies are known for being frugal with peat and full of fruit. Apple, pear, honey, vanilla and spice all have a role in expressions from this region, which are commonly matured in Sherry casks.

“Lowland: Soft and smooth malts are characteristic of this region, offering a gentle, elegant palate reminiscent of grass, honeysuckle, cream, ginger, toffee, toast and cinnamon. The whiskies are often lighter in character and perfect for pre-dinner drinks.

“Highland: This region, which also takes in the islands, has a huge diversity of flavours and characters. From lighter whiskies all the way through salty coastal malts, the Highlands offers a Scotch for all palates.

“Campbeltown: Campbeltown whiskies are varied and full of flavour. Hints of salt, smoke, fruit, vanilla and toffee mingle in whiskies of robust and rich character.

“Islay: Islay (pronounced ‘eye-luh’) is a magical island where the majority of its population are involved in whisky production. Famous for fiery, heavily peated whiskies.” [Source: https://www.scotch-whisky.org.uk/discover/enjoying-scotch/scotch-whisky-regions accessed April 8, 2023]

It seems complicated, but in my quick education about the process, I had to respect the intense dedication involved in making whisky. It begins with the barley, carefully cultivated at about 100 Scottish farms. The grain is first “malted,” that is, steeped for several days to germinate for release of fermentable sugars. Then it is dried, often wafted by smoke from peat or seaweed or whatever the recipe calls for to build in a specific flavor. During fermentation, done in huge vats, yeast is added to eat the starchy sugars and convert them to alcohol. As the levels of alcohol rise, the batch is pressure-cooked to create vapor, condense it, and remove certain toxins such as sulphur. Finally, it matures in casks (usually made of oak previous used for sherry or bourbon) for at least three years and often longer. Fun fact: a whisky cannot be called Scotch unless it is entirely produced and bottled in Scotland.

At one time, Glasgow was the biggest importer/exporter of alcohol in the world. This was because in the days of sailing ships, it was 20 days closer to Virginia than England’s Liverpool thanks to the trade winds and the Gulf Stream. This made Glasgow appealing to anyone with stuff to peddle.

I joined an enthusiastic core group of whisky afficionados in the days that followed. Together, we tasted loads more whiskies, often with the enthusiastic repartee of a willing bartender. My tastes ended up leaning away from the peaty whiskies, and more toward the softer, smoother choices. Just sayin’. Cheers.